When the front page story of the Chronicle is about…wait for it…fog. Friendly fog is far preferable to the usual tales of death, mayhem, and destruction. BOOM! Cue everyone in the office: “What the hell was that?” Ten minutes later: So there WAS an explosion downtown. Um, please disregard the title of this post.
I’ve been contemplating the dooce phenomenon, i.e. getting fired for content you post on your blog. In my case, I find it less likely I would get fired for WHAT I post on my blog than for, say, WHEN I post to my blog. Like during work hours. When I’m supposed to be, you know, [...]
“Is there anything more romantic than a midget wedding?” I wanted to share this with you, dear readers, all two of you, my mother and maybe someone else, because it is perhaps the most entertaining sentence I’ve read all day. Then I remember my lovely friend who’s getting married. She’s a little on the short [...]
I am the black hole of directional capability. I need only to be in a car – not driving or navigating, just sitting there staring at the strange stain on the back of the seat – for that car to get lost. Even if the driver knows exactly where she’s going. When actually driving myself, [...]
It’s probably not practical to take a hammer to a fly. But I don’t have a fly swatter. And, boy, do I ever have a fly. This thing is the size of a kaiser roll. It just smashed into the window pane with an audible thud. If I don’t get it out of my bedroom [...]
This sentence showed up verbatim in a work email. I love my job.
Unafraid to call a coworker “a fucking moron,” this brave pioneer of the first amendment is now updating his resume. He is also known for a concise diatribe on certain actions of mine that could be dubbed “poor judgment.” Nice to know you have friends who don’t hesitate to call it as they see it [...]
A certain Mission-dwelling marathon runner recently got drunk, passed out on his guitars, sent one sailing through the window and split his lip when crashing down onto the leftovers. I have just this moment received an email from him informing me that he is dead. I’ve never gotten an email from beyond the grave before. [...]
Just a little tip from me to you.
My dance teacher once said, “Bad drivers are bad dancers.” I, my friends, am a bad driver. Three accidents in as many months. In all fairness, one was not my fault. Unfortunately, that still leaves two. One with no damage and one that almost totalled my car. Nobody was hurt and that’s the important thing [...]
